Top Ten Signs You Know You're Visiting a Bad Church

Okay, I know this doesn't count as a real blog entry, but the wry humor does satirically highlight the current condition of the American church landscape (stay tuned for the real entry). This comes from Steve Camp's blog:

Top Ten Signs You Know You're Visiting a Bad Church

10.) The usher asks if you prefer the smoking or non-smoking section
9.) Foyer includes beverage machines to give you a choice of soft drinks, Snapple, bottled waters, and exotic coffees.
8.) Regular attendees earn frequent flyer miles
7.) Sunday School replaced by an extreme image make-over class with Dr. Phil
6.) Baptismal tank has a wave-maker machine installed
5.) Twenty dollar cover charge at the door
4.) Sign out front has latest pastors name written with dry erase markers
3.) Offering plates mounted with credit card swipers
2.) Worship team performs their favorite Led Zeplin medley; with an altar call of "Stairway to Heaven."
1.) Banner across front of sanctuary reads, "Today's Worship Service Brought to You by Chevrolet."


  1. Hmmm...."Stairway to heaven" for the altar call eh? Haven't seen that one yet, but I'll be watching for it...

  2. He!!! Credit card swipers doesn't sound like such a bad idea. It would make counting the offering easier to say nothing of the fact that ppl tend to spend more when using a card. It's all about how much money is brought in isn't it?
    (said tongue in cheek)
    Still hoping to see a real blog entry. ;)

    In Him BK

  3. Well, the irony is in Michigan recently on our "Christian radio" programming, I heard shows about both of these two things.

    One was on giving and credit card swiping. Another show was about "reaching the lost" by using music they can relate song namely "Stairway to Heaven" The announcer wanted people to call in and see what they thought about these two very real things happening in evangelical churches today.

    So while I think your post was a little bit of satire....I think it may hit the mark with some churches in America today.

    Karen Hindt


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