The Runaway Bride and Redemption

Yesterday the students and I had a very animated discussion of God’s design for marriage as we walked through parts of Hosea. I will apply the part of the prophet’s story (read the Old Testament prophet Hosea if you haven’t, and blush modestly) when God sends Hosea to love and retrieve his prostitute/wife and he purchases her for pennies:

God commanded Hosea to love her, but please understand that God was not commanding a feeling. He was commanding Hosea to do the loving thing. You can imagine how difficult this must have been for Hosea.

Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her. Hosea 2:14

So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley. Hosea 3:2

He paid fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley for her. To give that context, the owner of a male or female slave in Israel had to be paid thirty pieces of silver by a man whose ox gored the slave to death (Exodus 21:32). Gomer must have been seen as damaged merchandise.

Away with the man-centered theology that tells us Jesus’ death shows us how much we are worth. Our stomachs should rightly churn when we hear Christians tell us that if we had been the only people on earth Jesus would have died just for us. Please. Jesus didn’t die because we are special but because we are sinful. In truth He died for the Father, to satisfy wrath.

Look at this woman as she is. She is a low, selfish, sneaky prostitute who is reaping the consequences of her own actions. She stands there naked on the auction block and her bid is lower than the damages required for a dead slave. Her worth is not inherent. Her identity is nothing apart from the man who bought her back. This is not the story of human worth but the story of God’s love and faithfulness.

This is all about redemption. You have seen the creation as God intended it. You have seen the horrid, destructive effects of the fall. Now you see the bloody price of redemption. God loves His people. That means he is committed to His people.

After all she (Israel) did to Him, He chased her down, bought her back and took her home. Praise Him. Guess what happens when you love someone like that? You start to love them. Notice the emotion-filled declaration of love the Lord gives to His own rescued bride. Ponder what kind of love is this:

How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I surrender you, O Israel? Hosea 11:8

You and I are the unfaithful bride. We are more evil than we could ever imagine. Yet we are more loved than we could ever hope. We have been loved. We have been rescued. Ours is to respond. Ours is to sing the songs of the redeemed.

You respond both vertically and horizontally. Your relationships will look different when you order them in light of the price that was paid for you. Your delight in the Lord cannot help but bring you to delight in the people in your life He has given you to serve.

Adventure report: I forgot my flashlight at home but I do have my cell phone. Last night I needed it because our generator ran out of gas and our battery bank eventually discharged. It was quite warm and dark. No rain.

The night was largely sleepless because of a combination of factors. In my waking hours I could hear a large group of people in the distance talking, singing and eventually screaming. I will withhold judgment until a Haitian explains it to me, but it didn’t sound good.

A Response to the News

The news.

The response.

Fix Your Ball Mark and One Other

We Christian fundamentalists (in the 1909 sense of the word) and conservative evangelicals are right. We are right about the inerrancy of Scripture. We are right about the virgin birth. We are right about the deity of Christ. We are right about the substitutionary atonement. We are right about the physical resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are right about the validity of biblical miracles.

It is so hard to be humble when you are so right.

That is why it is hard for us to manage the situation when one of us does something wrong. This brings us to our text for this study:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. Galatians 6:1-5 (ESV)

Set aside for a moment the scandalous things Christian leaders have done to make headlines. What about the Christians you personally know who have behaved sinfully? You know their names. You can see their faces. You may still see the fallout that resulted from their sin. How have you responded when you have seen these things? If you could go back in time, what do you wish you had done differently?

Consider this scenario: You have a Christian friend, Dan, who is very bright and who has done well for himself financially. He has been somewhat aloof from you and from the church for a few months, but he comes often enough that you chalk it up to the natural ebb and flow of relationships. You would rather not offend him by asking if there is a problem.

You receive a phone call one night from Tammi, his wife, who informs you that Dan, the Bible study leader who would never have darkened the door of a casino, has been staying up all hours of the night at Internet gaming sites. Dan has developed an online gambling habit. He has landed the family in so much debt that they may lose their home. Now an uncharacteristic emotional explosion by Dan at work has cost him his job. Tammi says that Dan now claims to be repentant but she thinks it is too late for their marriage. She says she is leaving him and moving out of state with the children as soon as arrangements can be made. She reports that Dan is an emotional wreck and is so depressed that he won’t even eat. No one else at church knows and she requests that you not embarrass the family by telling anyone.

What do you do in that situation? Does the Bible say anything about this? You do not have any “lifelines.” Surveying the audience, phoning a friend and 50-50 are not options. You know you want to do what pleases God, but you are likely afraid of what might happen.

If you would call this story fictitious, you would be correct, but I can tell you true stories even more heart-breaking about professing Christians—including pastors—who have messed up their lives with drugs, alcohol, pornography, immorality, shoplifting, uncontrolled anger, poor financial stewardship and untamed tongues. Everyone has a response when faced with situations like this, but the most common responses include the extremes of either ignoring the problem or over-reacting to it.

You need to do something and you need to do it the right way. Going about the messy business of restoring a fallen saint is usually time-consuming and often heart-breaking, but it is never useless. Will there be some people you try to help who are not truly repentant or who will not want your help? Yes. But your obedience to the commands of God’s word should never be hindered by your fears that some people will not like what you are doing.

Observe some key words from this text and see what actions please God in the face of brothers or sisters who, like Dan, are trapped by their own sin.

CAUGHT

Paul speaks in verse one about being “caught” in a transgression. This has been translated “trapped,” and carries the idea of being surprised. That is not to say that Christians who sin are passive victims. It is to say that people like Dan never intend for things to go as far as they usually do. Dan did not sit down at his computer one day and think, I plan to gamble so much online that I lose my job, my house and my family.

People who are caught in sin are certainly responsible for their own actions and are reaping the consequences of their sin. Does that disqualify them from your mercy?

RESTORE

Next comes your part. Paul says you are going to have to help. He uses the word “restore” as a command. This word was used in Matthew 4:21 and Mark 1:19 of Jesus’ disciples mending their fishing nets. It was used in New Testament times of setting a bone.

Restoring a fallen Christian is a procedure that requires as much gentleness as you would want your doctor to have if you broke your leg (see Galatians 5:22-23 to see that “spiritual” people are “gentle”). It calls for as much patience as you would need to untangle a fishing net and bring it back to working order.

The business of restoring requires you to touch the one who is broken. This may mean you spend a lot of time on the phone, at a restaurant or doing detective work to track down your running friend. This may mean you get much more information about the situation than you ever wanted to hear. This may mean emotional pain as you see the dreadful consequences of sin. Restore them anyway. It is your responsibility. Stay spiritually minded. Do it gently.

KEEP WATCH

There is a warning associated with this business. To “keep watch” means you are to pay close attention to yourself. This word was used of “noting” or “marking” the example of people, good or bad (Romans 16:17; Philippians 3:17). In this case you are the one who needs watching.

Taking on the role of “spiritual person” does not mean you have become immune to the malady from which your friend suffers. It is possible to get sucked into the same pit from which you are trying lift your fallen comrade. “That’s why I stay away from those situations,” some say. “It’s not worth the risk.” But do you remember all the “one another” commands of the New Testament? Your responsibility is not to avoid sinners, but to avoid sin. Serve others aggressively. Just watch yourself while you do it.

You are best equipped to take on the role of a helper in this situation if you are unsure of yourself—that is, aware of your own weakness. With that humble attitude, you will approach your friend with the gravity you both need.

Maybe you don’t even have a computer and would say that you could not do what your friend Dan did. This is where your pride brings you down. You may not have a computer or even know how to get on the Internet, but that was not Dan’s sin. Dan wanted something that promised to satisfy his desire for wealth. This was not about online gambling but about coveting. You are weak in that area. Watch yourself.

BEAR

The word “bear” simply means to “carry.” It is used in many ways in the New Testament, including bearing children, carrying sandals and holding anything from a pitcher of water to a funeral bier.

One use of the word fits well with the application we are making here. This word was used of Jesus carrying his cross (John 19:17) and of his call to his disciples to bear their cross (Luke 14:27). The burdens of others are ours and the ultimate example of burden bearing is Jesus, who bore our sins in his body on the cross.

People like Dan need brothers and sisters who to follow the one who was the perfect example of being other-focused and who carried their sins.

BURDENS

A “burden” is simply a weight. We like to forget what it is like to be guilty and know it. Living in the land of “look behind” is a miserable existence. Proverbs 13:15 (ESV) says, “Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.” The KJV says, “the way of the transgressor is hard.”

When your brother is hurting—even if he is hurting because of his own sin—you should be hurting. Help him get up. People who can remember the release of sins forgiven are the best ones to help people weighed down by sin.

So how does that attitude look when it is applied to the “Dan” scenario?

There is no contradiction in calling the spiritual person to bear the burdens of others while at the same time bearing his or her own load. It is only our selfishness that wonders if that is fair. Ours is not to find others to bear our loads. Our is to carry our own and—if need be—theirs too. It’s kind of like the sign beside the green at the golf course that says, “Fix your own ball mark and one other.” Simple math tells you that you are being asked to take responsibility when someone else did not.

Ours is to look for burdens to bear. That is the other-focus so prominent in the New Testament, particularly in the “one another” texts.

It is easy to fall into one of two extremes when you see other believers in sin. One is to secretly take pleasure when they reap the consequences of their actions. The other is to do nothing because you are afraid of being called a meddler. There is a much better option. If you desire to please God, you will desire to lift up the fallen, to bear their burdens. In summary, here is how you can become God’s kind of burden-bearer:

1. Spend yourself, helping those who are in trouble because of their own sin.
2. Watch yourself, knowing you are susceptible to the same sins.
3. Manage yourself, paying more attention to your own responsibilities than to the responsibilities of others.

God supplies what he requires. Remember that the ultimate burden-bearer was also serving people trapped in sin. Make your ministry to sinners a sinner’s response to being rescued.

"Let the thrill go—let it die away."

I am adapting this entry from my comments on a chapter in C. S. Lewis's Mere Christianity entitled "Christian Marriage." It is from a note I sent to our college-age young people in another blog (that you probably do not read). It primarily surrounds the urging of the unmarried (at that time) Lewis to contrast loving with being in love. The quote in the title above forms the basis for my comments.

First, by this statement Lewis combats “shacking up” and other forms of intentionally arousing sexual passion in someone to whom you are not married. People who believe they are “in love” may set aside responsibility because the feelings of being in love are so intense. People who love their boyfriend or girlfriend rather than being in love with them know that stirring passions that cannot be satisfied righteously is unloving. They should “let the thrill go” because they are dooming the future of something God created to be enjoyed in its proper context to a guilty pleasure. Lewis effectively illustrates with food. When we want the thrill without the responsibility, we are like bulimics who binge and purge to avoid the natural consequences of overeating. Sexual experimentation outside marriage is relational bulemia. It makes the “feast” of marriage a guilty pleasure instead of a motivation to bless the Lord who gave it to us.

Next, by this statement Lewis combats the divorce problem. The biblical teaching on marriage is not first and foremost good because it helps marriage. It is good because it is marriage that helps us see the relationship God has with his people. God is not “in love” with us. He loves us. And it is not being in love with someone that prepares you for the commitment required for a 50-year (lifetime) marriage. It is loving someone even when the original feeling has waned. Loving someone makes you to keep the contract and, yes, even savor the sweetness of the contract. People who love each other can have productive disagreements because they quarrel with a resolution in mind rather the end of the relationship. The idea of going their separate ways is off the table because they honor the contract more than they honor the thrill. People who are merely in love quarrel selfishly, fearing the loss of the feeling and the person who brings it.

Finally, by this statement Lewis combats the controversy over biblical marital roles. It is not the thrill of being in love that makes a man love and lead his wife or moves a wife to joyfully follow her husband. Loving headship and joyful submission are not for the benefit of the male sex but for the stability of the world that is founded on the family order. The thrill that Lewis says needs to die rarely produces situations that require loving leadership or joyful submission (please read that twice). For example, that young man who is such a good leader in deciding which movie to attend on Friday night should also be evaluated by the way he acts when he is required to inconvenience himself to serve others. That picture of feminine charm may look good on your arm at the movie theater or at a concert but what is her attitude when it is her turn to deal with screaming babies in the church nursery? This is why I urge young believers to identify potential mates by observing them in situations that require unselfish service and even stressful problem-solving. He needs to show his love by humbly accepting the responsibility that comes with leadership. She needs to love by joyfully serving under the authority of another. Some couples get along great so long as there are dating diversions to keep them from addressing real life. Long-term relationships run in orderly ways that transcend difficult relational trials because more is at stake than the thrill.

Hope for a Depressed Thief, Part Two

Jordan...continued

I want you to consider God’s diagnosis of what is going on inside your heart. I know enough of your background to say that I would be surprised to read in the paper that you were arrested and charged with retail theft. I know that you would bristle at the thought of that. However there are other ways to steal.

Just like Jesus taught that hatred is heart murder and lust is heart adultery (Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28), he also taught that stealing is more than stuffing a DVD into your shirt at Wal-Mart. Listen:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, emphasis mine)

It is that word “defraud” that I want you to see. You could substitute the words “cheat” or “swindle” or “con.” I honestly think that you fall into this category for these reasons:

• You stole from your employer because he had to go without services he hired you to perform. Instead having you, a trained staff member, complete a task, he had to get a less-than-satisfactory job done when you were not there to carry your portion of the load.
• You stole from your girlfriend when you became “too physical.” You may claim that you did not go “all the way,” but any sexual pleasure you get from her robs her and her future husband (even if you think that future husband is you) of something that belongs only to them.
• You stole from your parents and your church because as a member of both of those families you selfishly kept back simple service that should have been theirs because you thought you were too busy to serve (busy playing games and doing what pleased you).
  

I do not intend to judge you, but God’s word is the best judge of any of us. What does this text say? Because you have repeatedly turned from the instruction you grew up with, I give you the words of the Holy Spirit written about Jordan through the apostle Paul: Jordan “is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.”

You may question what I am about to say, but I think I have your attention now. There is a solution to this problem. Jesus did not die for victims of other people’s sins. He died for sinners. If you think the things you are going through right now are the fault of someone else, I am not going to be able to help you. But if you are one of those sinners, I can offer you hope for a solution. Jesus died to rescue sinners from their sins. Thieves are sinners. Jesus died to rescue thieves from their stealing. Here is one text that gives the way out:

He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. (Ephesians 4:28)

Here is the bottom line. You need to find your pleasure in a better place. Follow the logic of the text I just gave you:

• You do not stop being a thief when you stop stealing, but when you start doing something useful with your hands.
• You do not start doing something useful with your hands until you have an internal desire to share with those in need.
  

I will take you elsewhere in Scripture to show you that you will not have that internal desire until there is a fundamental internal transformation that only comes when you run from the judgment you deserve to the mercy provided by the one who died to rescue people like you from things like stealing.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:16-21)

The gospel of the Redeemer who conquered sin and death turns thieves into givers. It makes you do useful things with your hands for the good of others who need what you do.

My call to you, Jordan: run to the only one who can not only rescue you from the judgment you deserve, but to the only one who can rescue you from yourself.

Hope for a Depressed Thief, Part One

Jordan:

You have given me a great deal of information and first let me say that I know you are hurting. I want to assure you that the kind of depression you are experiencing is all too common and that I have great hope to offer you.

Just to list some of the information you gave me about why you are so depressed:

• You were fired because you regularly decided not to show up for work. Aside from the legitimate excuses like your sudden illness and your car trouble, you admitted to skipping out on work numerous times to be with your girlfriend and sleep late because you stayed up watching TV and playing video games. This is not the first job you have lost because of this.
• Your girlfriend has broken up with you saying your relationship was “too physical.” You have threatened suicide in an attempt to get her back.
• Your parents want you out of their house because they say you do not help. Your church ministry and attendance is only because of house rules and even that has ceased despite pleas from your parents and pastor.
  
  

When I offer you hope, you should know that I am not talking about finding a place to live, landing another good job or getting your girlfriend back.

You claim to be a Christian. You certainly do have a good grasp of things that are in the Bible and can even point to a time when you prayed to ask Jesus into your heart.

Please follow through with what I am about to say. I am calling your profession of faith into question. I have one primary reason: Your life has shown a pattern of delighting most in the things that please you and you have consistently run from the consequences rather than turned from the sinful behavior.

Christians are not those who have prayed the right prayer but those who have turned from sin to Jesus Christ. That does not mean Christians are sinless but it does mean Christians do not live in sin. First John 1:5-8 says:

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.

In the Garden of Eden (a story you know very well) Adam and Eve had one main passion: delighting in the living God and what he had provided (food, home, family, fellowship…). The first time that main passion was replaced (by a piece of fruit), the whole problem started. The Bible calls it idolatry and it shows up in innumerable ways among Adam’s kids.

In your case, the guilt you are feeling right now is in part because you are guilty of a specific kind of idolatry. It is called stealing. Let me explain.

To be continued...

Vote "Yes" to Define Marriage

Wisconsin residents will be voting November 7th up or down on a proposed amendment to the Wisconsin Constitution that reads:

Marriage. Shall section 13 of article XIII of the constitution be created to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state and that a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state?

Opponents of the amendment have vigorously campaigned that the amendment—particularly the second clause of the amendment—is unfair to those adults who have chosen to live together without marrying.

As someone unconvinced about the necessity of the marriage amendment until recent months, I want you to see why there is much more at stake here than Madison’s domestic partnership ordinance. This is about defining fundamental terms, protecting our constitution, encouraging what benefits our society and securing timeless standards for our children. I am asking you to vote “yes” on this amendment for several reasons.

First, vote yes because we need to define our terms. Constitutions do that. Marriage predates human government and certainly predates the Wisconsin constitution. Marriage is not the creation of the government any more than our natural resources are the creation of the government. To leave off the second clause opens a door that allows social experimentation by the whim of state and local bodies. I wish ice cream were a vegetable, but I cannot make it so even if most of you agree with me. You have to draw clear lines—especially when it comes to what most people in Wisconsin have always assumed is a given: marriage by any other name is not marriage. Opponents of the proposed amendment to the Wisconsin Constitution are—knowingly or unknowingly—blurring the lines. There is more.

Another reason to define marriage in our constitution is that there is an imminent threat coming from outside our state. There is a growing judicial philosophy that creatively reinterprets legal language to turn personal preferences and employee benefits into civil rights issues. The Supreme Court in New Jersey just last week ordered their state lawmakers to provide a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals. This kind of activism is moving many other states to do just what is being proposed in Wisconsin. This is not an obscure movement. Twenty other states have passed marriage protection amendments and several more are on the ballot around the nation this Tuesday. The threats are a negative motivator, but there are also positive factors at play.

A third reason for supporting this amendment with your vote is that our public policy should reward what benefits our society. We have long recognized time-proven behaviors that produce an overall positive cultural benefit. We know home ownership is a good thing for our culture, so we give homeowners tax benefits. This does not mean our government thinks renters are bad people. It is not a civil rights issue. It encourages something we value in our nation. We do the same thing for those who save money for retirement, attend college, give to non-profit organizations, obtain job training and bear children. No institution other than the family unit started by marriage between a man and a woman has ever proven to bring long-term stability to any culture. This positive reason to apporove the amendment sets a moral standard and it raises the question of conscience, a final argument.

Voting yes on the definition of marriage is a step toward preserving the belief in moral absolutes. Aside from all the positioning, debating and even vitriol on both sides of this debate, we should not ignore that this discussion involves a fundamental clash between two worldviews. On one side there are those who believe in moral relativism. They believe that moral or ethical choices should be made in consideration of social, cultural, historical or personal circumstances. On the other side are people like me. I believe there are such things as moral absolutes and that there are some things that are always right and some things that are always wrong. Those of you who agree with me realize that you cannot divorce your actions—voting included—from your fundamental worldview. Attempts to reinvent what has been a normative relationship throughout human history—starting in a beautiful garden—end in heartache.

Having been a pastor for 18 years I can give you story after story of the consequences that come whenever people try to break down the fences surrounding the marriage of one man and one woman—and homosexual marriage is only one of the breeches in that fence. Monogamous marriage is the foundational family unit for a healthy society. Kids rightly crave a mommy and a daddy in a lifelong committed relationship. Homes led by a married mother and father are not always possible, but they are the ideal environment in which children may grow up. A family is still a family if something happens to end a marriage, but we do not let go of the ideal because of the exceptions.

Voting “Yes” on the proposed marriage amendment this Tuesday is good for Wisconsin.

Former drunk wants his wife back

Frank:

Having talked to Hilda today I am concerned that you be very careful and very humble in your approach to her. There is always enough sin to go around in any marriage conflict, but the greatest burden of proof is on you since you made it impossible for Hilda to live with you.

You are going to need to do these things to please God, not to get Hilda back:

1. You are going to have to prove that you can be trusted. This is understandably Hilda's biggest barrier. The serious physical damage you have done to her is on her mind every time she seriously considers ending the divorce. She knows the statistics about spousal abuse. She knows that people with life-dominating sins (like alcohol and drug abuse, self-injury, compulsive lying, compulsive gambling, compulsive spending, pedophilia, pornography and homosexuality just to name a few) learn to be con artists and will do anything—even be “good”—to get what their idolatrous hearts crave. She thinks your sudden change is another act and that you will go back to the controlling, the rage, the drugs and the abuse like you have every other time. Get into her head and apply Philippians 2:3-4 to your thinking and actions. She is asking, “What if I believe he has changed and I take him back and he does the same thing again?” The burden of proof is on you.
2. You are going to have to demonstrate your ability to be the kind of father God wants you to be. This is more than taking the kids to church. The kids need a dad who will spend time with them and give instruction as is modeled in Deuteronomy 6. Don’t think you have to be in the home to teach them. It is hard, but not as hard as the “way of the transgressor,” a road you know too well.
3. You are going to have wait. This means that you treat Hilda as you would want your little girl to be treated by a young man when she is eighteen. If she thinks you just want sex, you’re going to have to wait like you should have as a teenager. As I see it, even though you are legally married, you would be wise to come up with a courtship plan that begins your relationship over where you know it should have been years ago. I want a young man to watch my daughter from a safe distance and learn to love and respect her as a sister in Christ before he ever becomes involved with her romantically. I want him to determine not to arouse passions that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Yes, Hilda is your wife, but barely. I must say with love in my heart that you chose the “barely” part by your sinful treatment of her. Honest question: What if it takes a year? Is she worth the investment? Would you want a young man to marry your daughter who couldn’t say no for that long? Could you wait a year without touching her and spend that time (an agreement like 1 Corinthians 7) learning to know her and love her for who she is out of bed by writing letters and making phone calls and spending no time alone?
4. After all that is done—even if it takes a year—you have to be prepared for her to say, “Sorry.” Would your bubble be popped? Yes, but your ability to handle that kind of disappointment and stay passionate about your Savior would certainly be evidence that getting Hilda back is not your greatest passion.
   
   The big biblical questions that reveal the desires of your heart:

• What do you want so badly that you are willing to sin in order to get it? See Achan’s desire for stuff.
• How do you respond when you do not get what you want? See Saul’s treatment of David when his lust for control seemed threatened.
• What is it that you think you cannot be happy without? See Rachel’s desire for children.