Give your wife a stroke

Yesterday we arrived at several sessions in my counseling track on what a family is and what a family should look like. We spent an hour on what God’s kind of woman/wife/mother looks like and a much more in-your-face hour on what God’s kind of man/husband/father looks like.

We contrasted the evil woman from Proverbs with the virtuous woman from Proverbs and elsewhere. Defining biblical manhood, we talked about how God designed Adam to enjoy and glorify Him and His gifts (which included his wife and his work and all the beauty around him). We observed the home as the place God ordained to be a microcosm of dominion, economy, creativity and industry.

Today we are tackling “Hosea, Redemption and Marriage.”

Adventure report: We have a refreshing rain almost every night, which slightly cools the temperatures but makes the air smell and feel like the tropical building at the zoo.

I was reminded yesterday why I brush my teeth with bottled water and keep my mouth closed in the shower. The “city water” is in an underground cistern, which is periodically pumped to a roof cistern. The lid to the lower cistern is on the garage floor. It reminds me of the sewer pit in my dad’s garage where he washes all the dirt.

The “Mourning to Morning” guesthouse we are renting is owned by an American who owns a car dealership here in Petionville. After the quake he decided to return to Boston. The house is beautifully designed and located near the end of a cul de sac. Razor wire tops the surrounding concrete walls like most upper class homes. The poorer people stick broken glass into the mortar on top of their walls. 

Quit you like men

This morning we had men-only "breakout" sessions with Steve Viars, Stuart Scott and Lou Priolo (track four ladies had their own with Martha Peace and Elyse Fitzpatrick). Very much on my mind during these sessions were men's ministry at our church and what it could look like.

The repeated message was that, while women are so valuable in God's eyes and often serve as the primary energy in the local church, men have largely abdicated their role to lead in the home and church. Much of our culture has sought to gender neutralize us so that young people grow up confused about roles and God's perfect design. Many young people think they are left to themselves to figure out what their identity will be. And that mindset carries into the church.

What to do? What is a "normal" man?

The answer is that Jesus is the normal man. Not only looking at His character but looking at the commands of God's word for the sons of Adam provides the pattern for sexual identity--particularly for men's ministry.

For example, you can boil down the biblical responsibilities of a husband to "leader, lover, provider, protector." There is really no end to the list of possibilities for training men and boys to be God's kind of men when you start teaching and mentoring in these areas.

What happens in churches and homes where men lead like God designed them to lead? A few women would bristle at the idea of their husband becoming a servant-leader. Most would breathe a great sigh of relief.