Have We Lost a Sense of Shame?

I notice a marked lack of shame at public sin in young people. Some teens and college-age young people--even those in church--seemingly have no idea of what it is to become embarrassed at things from what they post on Facebook to the clothes (or lack thereof) they wear. Part of the reason I notice it more is because I am a parent of adults and teens. Part of it is that I am a pastor and see lots of shameful behavior. 

In some ways I would guess it is a reflection of an anything-goes culture. However, it happens in the strictest of Christian homes as well. 

The whole conscience thing is difficult to understand. I understand that it is sinful to violate the conscience (Romans 14) even when the conscience is not biblically trained. That is why I so often tell parents not to sweat the small stuff. When we have a large number of "house rules" that we cannot possibly enforce, kids can learn that rules are not that big of a deal. Kids tend to get in bigger trouble for violating Dad's kingdom standards than God's. So they learn to violate their conscience in bigger and bigger ways.

The cults, for instance, have long been very good at communicating their system of performance-based righteousness to their children. Consequently you see people two or three generations removed from the devout ones who still hold some of the accepted convictions even though they are no longer identified with the cult. That is why you have non-Mormons avoiding coffee and Coke, non-JW's arguing against the Trinity and non-fundyBaptists voting Republican. Then you have some who have turned to the extremes of sin but are still afraid to listen to a doctrine other than the false one they grew up with.

I am increasingly seeing that the common error in all these cults (notice I included fundyBaptists) is their trashing or at best ignoring the cross. They clearly communicate a system of rules that can never change a sinner into something better. When the only way to get or keep a right relationship with God is to perform, you either play the hypocritical game or you turn away in despair. The only difference among those with unregenerate hearts is that some can convincingly play the game for a lifetime and some cannot.

So when I work with a man who is more afraid of smoking a cigarette than he is afraid of God's judgment on his anger or addiction to pornography I do not start by telling him about Spurgeon's smoking habits. I call him to see the attributes of God, to hate his own depravity, to love the cross, to hate performance-based righteousness and to love the diverse kingdom of people redeemed by blood.

I really like John Calvin’s statement about substitution: “When we behold the disfigurement of the Son of God, when we find ourselves appalled by his marred appearance, we need to reckon afresh that it is upon ourselves we gaze, for he stood in our place.”

Overcoming Fear

“It was a beautiful day on the beach, but you couldn’t be there because of embarrassing toe fungus.”

What do the advertisers of that product know about us that would motivate them to put a commercial together that way? We are afraid. We fear the opinions of others. We fear weakness. We fear vulnerability. We fear pain. We fear death.

I took a thoughtful look at today’s news headlines and advertisements and assessed how many of them play on our fear of economic loss, fear of sickness and death or fear of man. Just a scan of the big news outlets this morning produced these potential fears:

• “This is the food that heart attacks are made of.”
• “Doctor on Swine Flu: Be Alert, Get Vaccinated”
• Fashion errors can get women passed over for job promotions.
• “Durable goods orders tumbled in June”
• We have had no hurricanes yet this season, but the worst-ever hurricane season started this way.

David may have been sitting on his porch watching a storm blow in from the Mediterranean when he penned Psalm 29:

¹Ascribe to the LORD, O sons of the mighty,
Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
²Ascribe to the LORD the glory due to His name;
Worship the LORD in holy array.
³The voice of the LORD is upon the waters;
The God of glory thunders,
The LORD is over many waters.
⁴The voice of the LORD is powerful,
The voice of the LORD is majestic.
⁵The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
Yes, the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.
⁶He makes Lebanon skip like a calf,
And Sirion like a young wild ox.
⁷The voice of the LORD hews out flames of fire.
⁸The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness;
The LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
⁹The voice of the LORD makes the deer to calve
And strips the forests bare;
And in His temple everything says, "Glory!"
¹⁰The LORD sat as King at the flood;
Yes, the LORD sits as King forever.
¹¹The LORD will give strength to His people;
The LORD will bless His people with peace.

This is personal because I am working with a child in my own home who has developed an inordinate fear of lightning (and, hence, the outdoors). My wife wisely told me not to jump all over the issue with a little person. I realize that I may be demonstrating more fear (What will people think if the pastor’s kid has panic attacks?) of what might happen if my child persists in fear than my child is showing toward lightning. Specks and planks.

I will be gentle with the child, but fear is a serious sin. It becomes life-dominating. When I live in fear I rob God of His glory. Here are some examples:

• When I am afraid of bad weather I miss the chance to delight in the power God displays in nature.
• When I am afraid of what others think of me I ignore what God’s opinion is and what changes He wants to make in me.
• When I am afraid of sickness I not only risk making myself sicker from worry, I also ignore the fact that God might want to show His power in my weakness.
• When fear of losing my investments or other economic security consumes me, I reveal a heart that finds its security in a substitute savior.

Look at the text of Psalm 29. After the description of a loud storm that tears down trees, starts fires, throws pregnant forest mothers into labor and brings floods, the heavenly (I take it as heaven’s temple) audience shouts “Glory!” What a contrast. The crowd in the presence of the King gets to see every event on earth from God’s perspective (see Revelation 19:1-4). Talk about a big-screen, multi-media adventure! How can you have two individuals looking at the same event with one paralyzed in fear and the other energized in worship? Perspective.

Our problem is that we look at the things we fear as threats to our peace when we should be looking at them as displays of the glory of God. That is why the Christmas shepherds who feared an angelic appearance and twelve panicked disciples in a storm-tossed boat could go from terror to worship. They saw the King.

When you get to the end of the psalm you see where you need to be if you are prone to fear. You need to see that “the LORD sits as King forever.” His subjects go to Him for strength and peace.

Practically speaking, there is some homework you should do if you are prone to fear’s paralysis:

1. Make a list of the good (God-pleasing) activities you are avoiding because you are afraid. Be thorough. The size of the list may surprise you.
2. See your fear for what it is and confess it as an attempt at preserving self instead of glorifying God. It is a serving-two-masters matter. Repentance is in order.
3. Memorize Psalm 29:9-11 (or others: Psalm 23:5; 27:1; 34:9-10, 19; Proverbs 21:1; Matthew 10:28; 2 Corinthians 1:8-10; Hebrews 13:6; 2 Peter 2:9) and call the text to mind when you feel fear taking control.
4. Do what someone who trusts God would do in the fearful circumstance. This is not being fake. It is practicing trust. It is the fruit of repentance. For example:

• When you least feel like being around other people (work, church, small group fellowship), step into that situation and find a way to serve them. Stop living a life that is controlled by feelings. You will find the “glory” in the storm.
• When you are troubled by that person whose presence is intimidating or whose strong personality changes the way you talk or act or dress, remind yourself whom you should be seeking to glorify.
• When the doctor says you have a deadly disease or the meteorologist says there is a devastating storm headed your way, remember the inhabitants of heaven are shouting, “Glory!” and echo heaven’s song.

Alien Righteousness and Difficult Diagnoses

Wayne and Brenda:

Thank you for coming to me after the diagnosis the doctor gave your little boy. My only exposure to the diagnosis your son was given is the Google search I did today. You said that people with this diagnosis have a higher incidence of depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder behavior. Here is a summary of some of the observations you made about your son:

• He is extremely aware of religious matters.
• He never lies, even if he is sure to receive punishment.
• He even feels guilty when not necessary.
• He has been continually mumbling prayers --telling Jesus that he loves Him.
• He worries about people who are not Christians.
• He is deeply bothered by statues, thinking he or others looking on may be guilty of idolatry.
• He is afraid that he has sinned if he dreams about something evil, such as skeletons or haunted houses.
• In spite of all the extreme sensitivity, he does not seem to mind his own
  disobedience, whining or losing self-control.

Of course you're not asking me for medical counsel. I would say the same thing if you told me your son had Myelomeningocele like my son Elijah. One of the things we do if we want to evaluate a problem (like OCD) biblically is to give it a biblical name. For instance, the psychological world has looked at lots of people with a traumatic past who manifest certain symptoms and has given them the label “PTSD.” Posttraumatic stress disorder is a real problem, but my trouble with secular labels is that they do not get to the heart of the problem. One of the few benefits I see in modern psychology is that psychologists see lots of problems and write very descriptively about them. While our diagnoses and worldview are poles apart, we have eyes to see the same thing. An evolutionist and a creationist both see the same rock, and so they can make the same observations. They simply come to different conclusions.

It is hard to offer hope for disorders from which the psychological world tells us we can never escape. I cannot find PTSD or OCD in my Bible, but I can find fear. We have a solution for that, don't we? Even if there were hard, fast, scientific proof for a biological predisposition to these conditions, you realize that all of us must take responsibility for our thinking and our words and our behavior. The death of Christ not only provided a rescue from eternal judgment, it provided a rescue from ourselves. A lot of Bible teachers call this progressive sanctification. Jesus saved his people. Jesus is saving his people. Jesus will save his people.

I do not want to minimize what you have observed in your little boy, but let me encourage you to be praising God that he's conscientious! The good thing is that you have a lot of years to catechize him. Here is some "homework" for you since the two of you are his primary counselors:

1. Encourage the concern for others, but correct the notion that he can save others. Based on what I read in Romans 14 and other places, the sensitive conscience is to be trained, not trampled.
2. Praise your son for having a concern for the lost, but show him that God is the only one who can do something about rescuing the lost. We are only beggars telling other beggars where to find bread. It is a good thing to develop a passion for lost people that results in evangelism and other ministry. It is also a good thing to embrace the sovereignty of God, to rest in the fact that our responsibility is to follow Christ, not save the world.
3. Teach him that the righteousness God demands is an "alien" righteousness (something we cannot find in ourselves). There is no joy in a Christian life that is works-based. One paradox in following our Master is the coupling of intense cross-bearing and rest. I do not know if you have worked on a lot of Bible memory with your son, but I would start having him learn verses that teach us of a salvation that is all of God and not of us. You may have met people who go to churches that teach a works-based righteousness. So many of those poor souls believe that the cross of Christ only goes so far, and we have to pick up the slack. They live their lives hoping they have done enough to get to heaven. Unfortunately a lot of evangelicalism is doing something very similar. We do not pray enough. We do not give enough. We do not a witness to the lost enough. We do not go to church enough. (And have we ever found someone who does?) This is not grace. We talk more about the free will of man than the free will of God. Consequently, we behave more like children trying to find the favor of a parent rather than resting securely in the love of that parent and serving with that motivation.
4. Memorize texts about the majesty and greatness of our God. I am learning more and more than our biggest problems lie between our ears. When our thoughts are centered on worship every other concern seems to fade in importance. When we become self-focused and self-absorbed the entire world shrinks to the size of our problems. Our God becomes small instead of sovereign. Some examples: Psalm 8; Psalm 30; Psalm 46; Romans 8:28-39; 11:33-36
5. Memorize texts that promote love and trust and throw out fear. Some examples: Psalm 27:1; Philippians 4:8; 2 Timothy 4:18; Hebrews 2:14-15; 1 John 4:18
6. Read narratives from Scripture that contain stories of good and bad examples of dealing with fear. Some examples: Hagar when she was driven away, Joseph when so many people abused him, Moses when he had to stand before Pharaoh, Moses when he had to stand before God, King Jehoshaphat’s reaction to an invasion of Judah (this is one of my favorites: 2 Chronicles 20:5-13), King Saul’s fear of man and fear of losing his position, David while he was running from King Saul, Paul's letters that were written from prison (Philippians and 2 Timothy are books written when Paul did not know whether he would live or die)…
7. There is a workbook called The Fear Factor: What Satan Doesn't Want You to Know by Wayne and Josh Mack that would be good for you and your husband to study on your own. It is too much for a little kid, but it is a Bible study worth the work. Tools like this help us so we can help others.

What a privilege to be charged by God with the task of training warriors for the King! No diagnosis can limit the power God effects through his people.