First, let me say that I was very sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I know these past few months as your mother’s primary caregiver have been very hard. It surely is good to know that our God uses hard times in the process of making us more like his Son. He is in the business of doing what is for our good and his glory and he never makes mistakes.
To get right to the point, you tell me that after all those months in the tropical South surrounded by mosquitoes and the potential for malaria, you are still hearing the creatures at night. You cannot sleep. “They” will not go away. Trouble is, this is
First, let me assure you that I do not think you are going crazy. Unfortunately I also cannot tell you why you are hearing mosquitoes at night. I am not sure you could find anyone anywhere who could give you a definitive, authoritative answer as to why people hear things that do not exist. Take, heart, though. As hard as it may seem, there are more important issues at hand than stopping that horrible noise.
If I did not think you were a follower of Christ my counsel would be evangelistic, but since you do love my Savior I can offer this: You exist for him. He alone has the absolute right to rule you and make you what he wants (Daniel 4:35; Romans 9:19-21). Because he is God he never makes mistakes. Because he is God he is never unkind. Do you believe this?
If so, let me ask the hard questions. What if the mosquito noises never go away? Can you still glorify our great God? What if you have to live out your days with some other illness? Is God still just as good and worthy of worship when he chooses to send hard times that make you like his Son? This is my point. Your passion to please God must be greater than your passion to make the mosquitoes go away.
Here are the words of Paul to the Philippians:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:4-8
Here is some homework to work on until the two of us can get together with my counseling apprentice:
- Find delight where you were intended to find delight. Using Scripture, make a list of ten good things God has confirmed about himself through the hard times at the end of your mother’s life. Be specific. Spend time before you go to bed for the next ten nights praising him for each of those gifts.
- Replace worried and anxious thoughts with true thoughts. Put Philippians 4:8 on a note card and memorize it. Quote that verse out loud whenever you hear the buzzing. Keep a journal of your thoughts each time you do this.
- Find ways to begin loving others in tangible ways. Re-establish your service with the children’s ministry at church. Ask Mary Jones how you can make her job as preschool Sunday School teacher easier each week. Since you are single and not working right now, call the local pregnancy care center and ask to be put on the volunteer list and agree to pray for specific client needs as you are notified. The more you spend yourself for others the more your own troubles pale.
Be assured that I am praying for you in this. Let’s both ask God to take this away, but also ask him to do his perfecting work in you first.