Lafayette is gearing up for about 8-9 inches of snow. I'm in a warm gymnasium savoring the finish of the coffee I just drank, gearing up for a session on a biblical view of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

This morning was an excellent example of why people who attend this conference are counselees as well as counselors. Pastor Brad Bigney (always a treat) finished a workshop he started yesterday about managing conflict in a way that pleases God. He gave an acrostic (L-I-S-T-E-N) he had found in a book somewhere that is designed for husbands. I will include it here with a confession that I have repeatedly violated God's command to be understanding toward my wife in the area of listening. Here it is:

  • Look at her.
  • Inquire by asking, "Tell me more."
  • Stop interrupting with your solutions.
  • Tell her what you think you heard and say it back.
  • Express sympathy; something like, "That must have been hard."
  • Never look at your watch.

When my buddy shares with me the trouble he's having with his car he's not wanting a hug. He's wanting a solution. When my wife shares how she feels about a hard day homeschooling she's not wanting a solution. She's wanting a hug.

I don't get it. But I think I need to be a learner anyway.

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